It's October darling, turn out the light and come to bed . . .

Ack!


I’m here, truly, I am here! There is a more going on this month than the other 11 months combined. I think there is a direct relationship between my ability to communicate effectively about the thoughts swirling through my brain and the level of activity that creates those very thoughts.

I haven’t even read that sentence to Rob and I can hear him say ‘bullshit’. October is so much the month of ending and origin. This culture wraps up the year in December. The Chinese celebrate the New Year in February. South America celebrates it in June; which, now that I think about it, is analogous to a December year ending. Every people looks at the dying of the year and looks forward to the return of life.

This is that dying of the year for me and my faith. Last harvest, the dying of the sun and my birthday all happen this month. I want to crawl in my yearly cocoon, wrap up in a warm and wooly blanket (man); let the cool autumn winds and rain kiss my cheek before I hideaway for the winter. The Scorpio that is me hates the need for over sharing information about my family. The exhibitionist can keep a blog and tell you, Dear Reader, what’s going on; however you and I share it together in a quiet place, early in the morning, when the sun hasn’t even been born in the sky. We share it quietly, just the two us, over a hot cuppa tea/coffee. We talk through quiet smiles and soft laughter and a tear or two. **sighs**

I am in the midst of turning out a lot of information about my son to the government so that he can have an independent income from SSI while he continues in Transition Co-op and learns the skills to be that independent young man. SSI isn’t the only one that wants that info, the deepest hopes and concerns for our kiddo. The school district has its mountains of paperwork to fill out to appease another arm of government that pays the professionals to teach my son how to be that independent young man.

These are both very necessary and good things for Japes to have. SSI is income and TC is education that will lead to more education and hopefully remove his dependence from SSI. I’ll say it one more time, filling out the reams of paperwork and answering roughly a thousand personal questions about my son turns out to be a good thing because of the support it will get him for the next three or so years.

I froggin hate it. I despise talking to total strangers about my kiddo. I have an incredible and intense aversion to casting anything about JP into a negative connotation in order to communicate his disability to bureaucratic entities for any reason. Even knowing that the result will benefit my kiddo, I resent and abhor that strangers, who will never again interact with my kiddo or myself, have this insatiable need to pry into our lives and strictly define how much Japes autism changes his life from ‘normal’ to ‘abnormal’.

This is October – it’s the month for withdrawal not for jumping out of the dark and proclaiming ‘here I ammmm!’ in a bad Steve Martin caricature. The darkness is coming to the land and with that slow blanket comes quiet and peace and the laying down of urgency and the welcoming of a slower pace. But I had several Dr’s appointments this month. Must be sure the cancer has not returned – but each time I return for another round of tests I can’t help but feel my heart crawl up my throat and lodge itself there while I wait for results to come in.

She called me Friday afternoon and let me know directly that everything came back in ‘normal’ ranges and that there is no sign of the wicked crab returning. She followed that up with a letter, put it in writing, to let me know that we only have one more year of hyper vigilance to get through and we can say ‘Yay, the cancer is licked and shall not return!’ Well, not really, but we can back down to yearly visits again rather than 2 or 3 times a year. But as the appointments got closer, I got quieter. Until I know what’s going on I don’t want to talk about it. No matter how much it’s on my brain I can’t sit down and talk about it until I have the answer one way or the other.

The financial world – we won’t go there. Not yet.

The work world – I’m still trying to get into the Training department and still not getting there.

The Rob world – my gorgeous man is sick, with the flu, right after getting the flu shot!

The JP world – I just had a rant about, see above.

The Boo world – may get her own story here soon as basketball season is staring up for her.

My girlfriends world – Wow, I could blog about ya’ll but you already know what’s going on in your world.

I am officially no longer an Avon Lady come Oct 31st. I am a small success at Etsy. Ladies from around the states seem to agree that my pretties are fun and unique and they’d like to own one or two. That’s fun.


I’ve wound down m’dear. I need more coffee and to get a bunch more paperwork signed.

Have a happy Monday!